I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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