just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
