I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
