Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
