so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
