so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
