cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
