saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
