when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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