Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
