living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
