Just cropdusted the office
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
