why do cheetos always look like penises
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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