There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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