i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
