love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
