i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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