i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
