Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
