I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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