Your tits are I can't wait for
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
