I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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