I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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