One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
