Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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