yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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