I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
