In the future we'll all be gay
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
