my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
