Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
