My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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