OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Who died my cat blue again?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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