Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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