Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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