Its about making memories worth repressing
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
