we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
