did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
