It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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