that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize