I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
