Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
