the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
