it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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