Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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