YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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