i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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