I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize