never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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