There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
