Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
