is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
