Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
