She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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