THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Holy sore nipples Batman
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
wow bdsm is so cute
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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