and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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