Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
