you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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