I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
jump out the window naked night went bad
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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