my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
True strength comes from lack of pants
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
