i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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