I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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