sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
