while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
