I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
