yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
