she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
FUCK WHALES
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
