woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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